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Are You all Mouth? How to Enjoy Amazing Oral Sex this Steak and Blow Job Day

Victoria Scott - 25 February 2021

Good evening,

It may have started out as a bit of a joke and an internet meme, but Steak and Blow Job Day is coming up on March 14th, and it’s a great excuse to do two of my favourite things. Tonight I’m sharing my tips on how to make the most of this fun holiday.

Before we start, here are a couple of ground rules for the day.

  1. It’s not just for guys. Okay, it’s called ‘Steak and Blow Job Day’ but that doesn’t mean it has to be all about the D. Oral sex is pleasurable for all, and is a great way to increase intimacy and stimulate a better sex life for everyone involved.
  2. It’s not just for carnivores. Vegans and vegetarians, I’ve got your back. No-one has to miss out on the fun!

What is oral sex? Steak and Blow Job Day

What is oral sex?

Sometimes known as ‘giving head’, oral sex is where one person uses their mouth to pleasure the other person, by sucking, licking and kissing their genital area.

There are some negative cliches surrounding oral sex, including oral sex being used as power play, oral sex being demanded or expected, people feeling pressured to ‘groom’ or ‘fix’ their genitals in certain ways, and so on.

But when it’s done well, oral sex is an art that can bring huge amounts of pleasure to both parties. Taking the time and care to pleasure someone orally can develop intimacy and closeness, as well as result in incredible orgasms.

Sex first, dinner after

I recommend saving the dinner for later, for a couple of reasons. Firstly, you’ll enjoy dining together so much more because you’ll have created that wonderful sense of intimacy (and you’ll have worked up an appetite). Secondly, because sex is harder when you’re full up! And when oral sex is involved, it’s always sensible to work with an empty stomach and a clean mouth.

No need to hurry

When you’re giving someone head, take your time. Seduce them slowly, and focus on their whole body. Oral sex is an intensely intimate experience, and it’s usually best when both parties feel totally comfortable with each other. So take the time to get to know your partner’s body and what turns them on.

Create anticipation. Start with your clothes on, and tease them with kisses and touches all over their body. Gradually begin to focus on the genital area, don’t just go straight there. Tease them by moving your hands closer and closer until you just have to touch it. Then, slowly undress and get going.

Steak and Blowjob Day

 

Variety is the spice of life

Your tongue is one of the most remarkable bits of your anatomy, so make the most of it. It’s strong, flexible and dynamic. Your whole mouth, in fact, can do extraordinary things. So don’t just stick with one movement. Play around with different motions. Lick, suck and tease to keep your partner on their toes.

If you’re performing oral sex on someone with a vagina, try working your way through the alphabet with your tongue, sticking around for longer on the letters that get the best response. When you run out of letters, switch to numbers! Use your lips to kiss and suck the clitoris, as well as your tongue to probe.

If you’re performing oral sex on someone with a penis, using your tongue to flick the frenulum - the underside of the penis head - can bring great results. Mix this up with sucking and licking the shaft to deliver a mind-blowing sensation. Stay long enough on one motion to get them going, but don’t make it too repetitive.

Steak and Blowjob Day

Also, use your hands! Don’t let your mouth do all the work. Your hands can also do lots of things to heighten your partner’s pleasure while you’re performing oral. Don’t forget the rest of the body - there are plenty of bits you can play with.

Reach up to stroke their body and play with their nipples. If they have a penis, gently stimulate their prostate and balls, or use your hand to give their shaft extra attention. If they have a vagina, use a finger to penetrate them while you focus on their clitoris, or play with their bum with your hands.

This is the main event - don’t treat it like a sideshow

It’s common to view oral sex as foreplay, suggesting it’s somehow inferior to full penetrative sex. But the whole idea that penetrative sex is the only real sex isn’t super healthy. Oral sex is a valid form of sexual pleasure in its own right.

For many people, penetrative sex isn’t possible, or doesn’t feel great. Even if this isn’t you, don’t feel you always have to move on to penetrative sex after oral. For some, the orgasm that results from receiving head is better than the one that comes from penetration, so find out what you and your partner enjoy the most.

If you’re a virgin, oral sex is a great way to explore your sexual preferences and those of your partner without going the whole way. Don’t ever feel pressured to do more than you feel comfortable with.

Steak and Blowjob Day

Add props to the mix

You can spice up your oral sex session by introducing toys, flavours and sensations.

Flavoured lubricants such as our Wicked Sensual Care Flavoured Lubricants are a win-win - they heighten the receiver’s pleasure while the giver enjoys the delicious taste. You can also try Doc Johnson Goodhead Tingle Drops, which create a pleasurable cool, tingly sensation to enhance your play. The Doc Johnson Goodhead Sensations Kit is an all inclusive oral sex kit which includes a delicious flavoured lube, a warming flavoured lube, tingle drops, a cooling spray as well as a desensitising deep throat spray (which can help quell a tricky gag reflex) - plus a vibrating cock ring to maximise the pleasure.

Play around with other toys such as the LELO GiGi 2 G-Spot Massager, kegel balls, or the Rocks-Off Falex Prostate Massager, to find out what gets your partner off the best. If your partner likes to be submissive, and feels comfortable with it, tie them up carefully with bondage restraints or a blindfold to elevate their pleasure.

Or, if you prefer to keep things simple, pop an ice cube in your mouth before you start. The cooling sensation is amazing, and it adds extra moisture as it melts.

The Doc Johnson Goodhead Sensations Kit

Don’t get in your own head

There can be a lot of pressure on both people during oral sex. There’s pressure on the receiver to enjoy it and, ideally, reach orgasm - and there’s pressure on the giver to make it amazing. But this kind of pressure is only going to throw you both off your game.

Try to set all of this aside and just enjoy what you’re doing. There should be no end goal, other than mutual pleasure. It doesn’t matter if the receiver never reaches orgasm, or goes off the boil partway through, as long as they enjoyed getting there. It also doesn’t matter if the giver doesn’t get it right at first - it takes time to learn what your partner likes and doesn’t like, and everyone is different.

It can also feel weird having your partner focus on your nether regions instead of being face-to-face. Some people feel vulnerable and exposed, some people feel self-conscious about their bodies, some people find it hard to communicate what they need.

I know it can be hard, but try to relax. Your partner should help you to feel safe, comfortable and confident - if they’re not doing that, talk to them about your needs and how you feel. If things don’t change, maybe they’re not the right person for you to be doing this with.

A note about vulvas and penises. They all look different. They’re all different sizes. Don’t worry about it.

Steak and Blowjob day

Stay in contact

As I mentioned before, it can be strange with your partner being all the way down there. As a giver, it’s easy to just get stuck into what you’re doing and forget about how your partner is feeling. As a receiver, it’s easy to lie back and let them get on with it, without giving them any feedback or communication.

For really great oral sex, it’s important to stay in contact. I don’t mean that you need to be literally asking your partner if they’re enjoying it every two minutes, but learn to read their bodily responses and learn what their vocalisations mean. If they squirm away from you, try something different; if they make a particularly happy sound, stay with that technique for a while.

As a receiver, if there’s something you particularly like, communicate that to your partner. It doesn’t have to be verbal - you can nudge them with your fingers or legs to get them where you want. But be gentle, and don’t force them to do something painful or undesirable for them.

Also, understand that your partner might get fatigued and want to change positions. This applies to both parties. Why not swap halfway through to change things up? The giver can rest their jaw while the receiver gets to do the fun part.

Most importantly, if you’re not enjoying it, let your partner know.

Steak and Blowjob Day

Stay safe, happy and clean

Oral sex is a great way to avoid getting pregnant, so if this is a concern for you and you’re not using contraceptives, it’s one of the safest options.

That being said, it is possible for both people to catch STIs from oral sex, so always take precautions. Don’t perform oral sex if you have, or recently had, cold sores. You can reduce the risk of transmitting an STI by using a condom or femidom.

Before you get started, make sure you’ve both washed upstairs and downstairs - by which I mean your genitals and mouth. It’s as much a courtesy to the other person as it is a healthy habit to get into.

Afterwards, give your mouth a rinse and swill with mouthwash to freshen up.

Don’t feel pressured to swallow

Time for another cliche: in order to give good head to someone with a penis, you have to swallow their ejaculate. This simply isn’t true.

For some givers, swallowing is part of the pleasure, but for others it’s a bit icky. If you don’t want to do it, don’t feel like you’re letting your partner down. There are plenty of ways to make oral sex amazing without drinking a gallon of cum.

Steak and Blowjob Day

Seal the deal with an amazing steak

After you’ve both enjoyed the oral sex part, it’s time to move on to the steak part. Here are my top tips for nailing it:

  1. Coat your steak lightly in rapeseed oil and season it well before you start cooking. There’s no need to add extra oil to the pan.
  2. Use a griddle pan and get it really hot before you start cooking - this will caramelise the outside of the steak and give you those lovely char lines.
  3. Adding garlic, butter and herbs during the cooking will inject extra flavour.
  4. To get the cooking time right, use the finger test. If you’re feeling scientific, use a meat thermometer.
  5. Plant-eaters, I haven’t forgotten about you! This vegan steak recipe is for you.

Have fun!

Enjoy your Steak and Blow Job Day - and remember, oral sex doesn’t have to come just once a year!

Lovingly,

Victoria xoxo

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