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Want an orgasm? Try these newly named sex positions for women

Victoria Scott - 09 June 2021

Good evening,

Have you ever found yourself enjoying a particular position or technique during sex, but not known what to call it? Have you ever wanted to try it again, but struggled to communicate with your partner what you want?

In her recent academic study, sex scholar Dr Devon Hensel has given names to some of the most popular techniques and positions that are known to increase women’s enjoyment of penetrative sex.

It’s telling that although sex research has existed for over 100 years, these techniques have never before been given a name. This may be because researchers have generally been male, and therefore they may never have even known that these positions existed. It may be because female sexual pleasure has historically been seen as less important than male sexual pleasure, because only male ejaculation is needed to result in a pregnancy.

Whatever the reason, sexual practices that pleasure women have long been neglected, and that’s why I want to celebrate them today.

This article was inspired by an episode of Woman’s Hour on BBC Radio 4, which you can listen to here or on the BBC Sounds app. Listen from around 19:30 minutes.

What are the positions?

Well, I know you’re dying to find out. There are four positions, and they are each optimal for stimulating the inner clitoris, which is why they’re so great for women. More on this later. They all take place during penetrative sex, and can be tried either with a penis, finger or sex toy. They can be enjoyed with a partner or solo.

Want an orgasm? Try these newly named sex positions for women

Angling

The woman angles her pelvis, rotating, raising and lowering her pelvis to adjust the angle that the penis, sex toy or finger penetrates her vagina.

Rocking

This involves rocking the base of the penis, finger or sex toy so that it rubs against the clitoris consistently. This creates a consistent pressure on the clitoris, rather than an in-out motion.

Shallowing

The penis, finger or sex toy (you can also use a tongue for this!) penetrates just the entrance of the vagina and maintains a shallow position inside.

Pairing

The woman (or her partner) reaches down to stimulate the clitoris with a finger or sex toy, while penetration takes place.

These positions might sound familiar to you, and you may well have already done them, or do them regularly. But they have never before been given names, and this is a huge step towards making them more accessible to women.

Why are these positions so great?

Did you know that only 20% of women achieve an orgasm from penetrative sex alone? Yes, it’s true. On top of that, some women find penetrative sex to be uncomfortable, or even unpleasant.

Sex expert and author Tracey Cox argues that women who fail to reach orgasm often feel that there is something wrong with them. Even after learning this statistic, she says that many of her clients continue to feel that they are abnormal for not climaxing during penetration.

This is because the sex we see on TV, in movies and in porn strongly substantiates the idea that women universally enjoy penetrative sex. But for many women, this is not the case. The truth is that simply thrusting in and out doesn’t really do much for most women. So if you find you’re not that into it, you’re not in the minority.

Fortunately, these four positions can make a huge difference. By including these techniques during penetrative sex, you can enjoy a much more pleasurable sexual experience.

Tracey Cox states that by naming these positions, we are making it easier and more acceptable for women to ask for certain things in bed. Previously, there’s been a sense that if you want to try something "different", there’s something abnormal about you. But the fact is that it’s perfectly normal for women to find these techniques more pleasurable - because of that inner clitoris I mentioned earlier.

Want an orgasm? Try these newly named sex positions for women

The wonder of the inner clitoris

Did you even know that you have an inner clitoris? Many people associate the clitoris with that little hooded nodule above the entrance to your vagina. But that’s just a part of it. In fact, the clitoris extends inside your body and is much bigger than you might think.

The main body of the inner clitoris is around 1-2 inches long, and it dovetails into two longer parts that are around 2-3 inches long each. And some people say it’s hard to find!

The beauty of these four techniques is that they each stimulate the inner clitoris, which is the key to achieving a great female orgasm.

Why is naming things so important?

Sex is an important part of being human, so it’s worth taking the time to make sure you’re getting the most out of it.

Giving these positions a name empowers women to speak up about their preferences, and normalises these techniques so that everyone - men, women and non-binary - can understand what they are and how they work.

It’s difficult to describe these positions without having the vocabulary to do so. By giving them a name and a clear definition, it’s now easier for women to talk to their partners about what they want.

If something is unnamed, it can easily be forgotten - or worse, considered taboo and unspeakable. Female sexual pleasure has long been denied and overlooked. Naming the positions that bring women pleasure validates the female sexual experience.

How do I ask my partner to try these positions?

Knowing the name of the positions you want to try only gets you halfway there. The next step is to communicate with your partner what you want. (Important note: all of these positions can also be enjoyed on your own!).

Want an orgasm? Try these newly named sex positions for women

Keep it casual

There’s no need to make a fuss. Just bring the topic up in conversation. It might feel embarrassing at first, but the more you talk about sex, the easier it will get.

Do it before sex

Have the conversation before you have sex, not during. If you want your partner to listen to what you’re saying, have the conversation first! You can take your time over how you word it, and give them a chance to take it all on board and ask questions.

Be sensitive of your partner’s feelings

The goal is to help your partner understand your wants and needs, not to make them feel inadequate. People can get very sensitive about their sexual performance, so try not to make them feel like they’ve been doing something wrong.

If you’re worried that your partner might feel like you haven’t enjoyed sex with them in the past, try this handy tip from Tracey Cox - just tell them that women’s bodies change all the time, that your body is changing, and that you want to try something new.

Don’t get gaslighted

As I mentioned before, many women feel that there is something wrong with them because they don’t orgasm from penetrative sex. Some partners can reinforce this feeling by saying things like, "You always seem to like it just fine," or "My ex always orgasmed with me."

If your partner makes a comment like this, don’t fall into the trap of believing that you’re in the wrong for asking for something new.

Maybe you have enjoyed the sex with your partner, but just not as much as you’d like. Maybe you’ve felt pressure to fake an orgasm in the past. There’s no need to feel guilt for this - there are lots of reasons why you might have done it. Maybe their ex orgasmed all the time, but everyone is different.

If your partner reacts negatively to you asking, try to educate them about the facts. Tell them about the 20% statistic. Show them this blog. Get them to read the study or listen to the segment on the radio. It might blow their mind!

Have fun!

If you haven’t tried these positions yet, I encourage you to give them a go. If you want to try them solo first to test the water, why not get yourself a sex toy? Here are a couple I recommend.

Want an orgasm? Try these newly named sex positions for women

Lelo Soraya 2

The Lelo Soraya 2 is rabbit vibrator will stimulate your inner and outer clitoris all at the same time.

Womanizer Duo

The Womanizer Duo is a clever thing penetrates your vagina while treating your outer clitoris to pleasurable blasts of air.

We-Vibe Nova 2

The We-Vibe Nova 2 is rabbit is angled for ultimate pleasure, stimulating your clitoris and G-spot for an intense orgasm.

The ultimate gift of these names is that they tell the world that penetrative sex can be for women too. Women’s sexual pleasure is important, and this is now backed by science! The most important thing to remember is that your preferences are normal, your experiences are normal, and your body is normal. We all experience and take pleasure from different things, and that’s normal!

If you’ve tried these positions and you want to let me know your thoughts, get in touch. I’d love to hear from you.

Lovingly,

Victoria xoxo

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